Please, Don't Make Me Love You
by somatogenic
Summary: After Vash put Knives in Meryl's care, both Meryl and Knives got to thinking about their ways . . . told from Knive's perspective.


  
  
The cool cloth that Meryl had put over my forehead woke me, and it's wettness dribbled over my face, refreshing my dry skin. She smiled at me kindly, the same, tierd looking smile she'd given me since she first started to take care of me. They thought that I couldn't move or speak, but in the few moments of privacy that my care taker gave me, I had exercized both to the point of basic skills. It would take much longer to be normal again. Normal for me, anyway. Though I had the suspision that normalicy for me was going to be a fruitless dream. But I don't let things like that get me down.  
  
I had decided today was the day that I would ask her. It was the anniversary of when I came here, to this all familar bed and her pleasing smile, to her tender touch, her warm care . . . she didn't preach me, even after she knew all the things I'd done. She just smiled and went on her buness, she did her job efficantly and well, didn't get whiney anbd get emotional, just do what she had to and moved on . . . like an ant. And like an ant, I would eventully crush her, but not now. I had to wait. But this question wasn't concerning that.  
  
It was concerning the fact that her smile wasn't so energetic as it first had been, her attention to me had been lacking it's usual quality. Something, I decided, was wrong with her. And when I though of that, it made me feel . . . discusting. Human. _Emotional_. So I'd fix her, and everything would go back to normal. No more . . . _feelings_ when her smile lacked it's happy beam, no more achings when she forgot me . . . normalicy was all I wanted.  
  
So, like her, I cleared my throght and got down to it.  
  
What's happened to you? Where are you in the evenings and bring my dinner late? Where are you when you drift off and burn your food on the stove? Where are you when you look so . . ! I stoped, breathing hard with effort; I swallowed, where did you go?.  
  
She was in shock, it was expected, but she gave me a bitter smile and laugh, looking at her hands in her lap, face getting lost under her hair .  
  
That's not the kind of smile I want! I yelled furious at her laughing at me, though I knew in my mind that it wasn't true, and yanked her chin up with one hand, pulling her closer with the same movment. It was my turn to be surprised. She was . . . crying. It usually sickened me to no end, and I usually killed the person who would dare to weep in my presence . . . but I'm not normal at the moment, and I felt those awful . . . _emotions _again. But before I could explore their heinous meanings, the door opened to our little home.  
  
It was Vash.  
  
Stupid, goody-goody Vash.  
  
My brother Vash.  
  
His image brought me back, and I hid Meryl's face in my shoulder, growling at him in rage.  
  
What do you want?!  
  
He was in a sad looking stupoir, but like he did to me, I snapped him out of it. In a flewed, lighting moment, he grabbed Meryl out of my patheticly weak grasp, and took her outside. They were outside agruing faster than I could blink.  
  
What did he do to you? he asked, concerned and angery.  
  
Something I've been waiting for you to ask me for months, Vash, he actully asked me why I've been depressed lately, why I've been down. Something, I don't even think you care about any more! You've been in and out of this town so much recently, I don't even know when you're here or not because of your wonderful annocments to when you're leaving! she screamed back. Boy she was pissed. I quickly smothered the new emotion thast gave way at the sight of that. I mentally chided mysewlf. Excitement was reserved for big, shiney, wortld distroying guns. Not for Meryl showing raw, angry emotions.  
  
He was shocked, but recovered, and spoke so softly I could barely hear him, in that tendor baby voice he used when he was trying to not get mad. I smiled at the pitiful action, but not the words.  
  
I think you've been spending too much time taking care of Knives  
  
Something snapped within me, and it made me want to throttle him more than I usually do. Those words obviously had the same effect on Meryl, if her reactions were anything to judge by.  
  
She slaped him hard.  
  
I rooted for her. Maybe she wasn't as close as I would like to killing Vash, but next time I'd be sure there was a gun in her hand. It was a begining.  
  
You have no right to tell me that Vash! He's the only thing I have! You know that! Ever since Milly went home to rase her babies, I've had no one! And . . . you know how importaint you are to me! Even you're not stupid enough to miss the signs I've been sending to you over the past year! And I'm not waiting around for you anymore Vash, I'm tiered of it . . . I'm sick and fucking tiered of it! So just leave me alone from now on! I've had it!  
  
And with this last statment, she stomped back over to me and hugged me, sobbing into my chest. Vash was as shocked as I was. But a plan was forming in my mind. I held her lovingly, one hand undernieth her cloke, petting the small of her back, and the other caressing her hair.  
  
Get out Vash, you've done enough here, I spat with as much malice as I could muster, but I couldn't keep the smile from curling the edge of my frown. He luckily didn't notice in his blind trama from being shout at. He did as I bid. Stupid, stupid fool. What a classic mistake.  
  
He was there only seconds after I had shot Meryl with one of her own guns in the side, the shot still ringing in the air as I laughed bitterly.  
  
Stupid Meryl.  
  
She made me care.  
  
AN: Please review. 


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